Lawyers With Purpose

Compassion Fatigue

“You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today’s the day. Say it; this is going to be my day.” ~ Brendon Burchard


The emotional, physical and financial needs of our world can be undoubtedly overwhelming. As we become more and more comfortable with the vision, design and signing meetings, we then begin to move fully into and embrace the counseling side of serving in the estate and elder law industry. With this comes the journey of compassion:

1. We will feel for people in pain – even people we don’t know personally.
2. We will want people to be encouraged and hopeful – even people we don’t know personally.
3. We will seek to help people practically – even people we don’t know personally.

Beyond the "conference room," you will begin to find that you are naturally feeling this and wanting to do it. Once you gain knowledge in the tools, competency in the legal technical and confidence in your team, you will begin to lead and guide from a place of compassion. And this is how you attract people to your office, without even trying. Your ability to actively listen and solve problems is utterly absent from your competition. And everyone sees it.  So your calendar begins to fill up with potential money appointments:  Initial contacts increase (yay!), vision meetings increase (yay x2!), your hire rate increases (yay x3!).

But if there is not time in your calendar to “empty your backpack” of all compassion – stories, grief, troubles and struggles that you get to solve all day (not to mention the employees waiting at your door in-between all these fantastic meetings) – you will be burdened. Imagine a backpack filled with the heaviest cinderblocks you can imagine. At some point, you have to put the backpack down or else you’ll break your back. That's compassion fatigue.

In an unrelenting world of constant giving and solving, filled with back-to-back appointments and very little breathing space, it eventually becomes impossible to “muscle through” week in and week out. Then we start to see our initial/vision and hire rates decrease because that bountiful compassion has turned into resentment and frustration. And we might tell ourselves, “The lucky streak has ended,” but as humans we are just not conditioned to continue at that pace without operating at a deficit.

We have to refill our tireless giving “compassion account.” When your reserves are in deficit, you can’t truly give.  Here are some quick suggestions for how to refuel your compassion account, “empty your backpack” and let go of all the emotional stuff you picked up throughout the day. This should take no more than five minutes at the end of each day to allow you to hit the ground running the next day with a full account:

• Get a journal or notebook and keep it at your bedside.
• At the end of your day, download all the stories you picked up from the day: prospective clients, existing clients, referral sources, client complaints, employee issues, even whatever may have hit you personally at home, because all compassion and heartache are created equal. 
• Jot down the NAME (Smith case, Sally the receptionist, my son Timmy.)
• What the story/situation was. Keep it simple and don’t make it into a dissertation. Just brain dump the emotionality of what occurred. This part is important: Connect and dump the emotional compassion that occurred in order for you to truly unload the backpack.
• What did you provide in regards to coaching, conflict resolution, counseling, etc. to provide value? It is equally important for you to get the WIN in it, to know you were part of holding a safe space for X to have a breakthrough in that moment with the resources you had.
• Then detach and let it go, and write down, “My job is not to rescue. My expertise in helping X was more than enough for today. I am not responsible for the circumstance, only for coaching the person. This is no longer mine to carry.” 
• Celebrate the victories and share them with the team.  Acknowledge what you have done as a huge accomplishment.  Give yourself kudos – don’t minimize what you’ve done.
• Pretend you’re a duck!  When you are in a leadership role – and you are as an entrepreneur and intrapreneur – you will take hits.  You've got to let them roll off your skin, just like a duck lets water roll off its feathers.  Work this muscle until you see the results.
• Build “pause” time in your calendar to reframe yourself between appointments.  Use that time to do something for yourself, to make deposits into your compassion account.  Doing this will allow you to always “show up” genuine and prepared, with your clients feeling heard and you feeling confident.

You will begin to notice how much compassion was actually turning to clenching for your clients, which is a circumstance that creates undue pressure on us to “deliver.” Yes, you have to deliver on your promises (planning, etc.), but when the delivery becomes all about the person's circumstance vs. about the person, which we all do day in and day out, that blocks the unpacking of the backpack to eliminate the compassion fatigue.

If your interested in joining us in Chicago, book your flights now!  There are still just a few seats left so register today and be in the room to experience what the Practice With Purpose Program is about and what we have to offer.

Molly L. Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers with Purpose, LLC, and author of Don’t Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work with a Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process.

A Day At The Beach: D-Day, June 6, 1944

When I think of a day at the beach, I think of umbrellas, children, swimming, and sunshine.  June 6, 1944 was a very different picture at 6:30 a.m. when the “boys” from the 1^st Infantry Division arrived riding Higgins boats on Omaha Beach.  It was overcast and storming.  The aircraft support troops could not fly in as planned to via an air raid, for fear of hitting the landing craft.  The fleet of floating tanks that were expected to be waiting on the beaches, had sunk into the ocean five miles from shore, with only two reaching their destination.

In the water, as well as on the sand, the troops encountered deliberately planted obstruction barriers to prevent the boats from reaching shore. The boats did reach the shore, albeit east of their intended landing place due to strong currents.  Many of the men had to wade 50 – 100 yards in water up to their necks, carrying full gear, with guns held overhead, under heavy gunfire.  Once reaching the sand, it was open-fire as the troops tried to make it to the multistory-high cliffs and scale them.  The battle at Omaha beach took six hours before the Allied forces penetrated a gateway to get through, leaving carnage like no other.  The visual I was provided by another was described as “miles of khaki and red” blending the blood with sand.

When I stood there looking out, the beach was quiet and beautiful. The weather was uncharacteristically sunny and warm with clear skies. The only artifacts left are damaged bunkers, grass-grown bomb craters, and the beaches with gorgeous green and blue water flowing in and out. My eyes were trying to see the tankers, ships and soldiers that remained underneath.

My time there was limited, but the memories are forever strong. I could have just turned and left, headed to the next historical site. But I couldn’t. I had to pause and silently say a prayer of honor for those who have served our country in all wars, and for their family members.

The men and women who have experienced war, as well as their families, change after their experiences.  But those who study history in-person, not just in books, are changed too. I have always had an appreciation for my WWII clients. But the level of appreciation has heightened now that I have been able to visit the battle sights 70 years later.

Don’t just remember D-Day in years to come, experience it and honor it.  My next article will highlight the interview I had with Judge James Hill, WWII veteran. 

Victoria L. Collier, CELA, Elder Care Attorney, Co-Founder of Lawyers for Wartime Veterans and Lawyers with Purpose, Veteran, author of 47 Secret Veterans Benefits for Seniors and most recent book, Paying for Long Term Care: Financial Help for Wartime Veterans: The VA Aid & Attendance Benefit.  

Normandy: D-Day 70th Anniversary

As a member of the Military Legal Section of the State Bar of Georgia, I had the opportunity to visit Normandy in commemoration of the 70^th Anniversary of D-Day, June 6, 1944.  Before going; however, I wanted to be prepared for the trip.

Of course I knew that D-Day was a significant part of our history from World War Two.  As part of my elder law practice, I meet WWII veterans and their families regularly.  As a veteran myself who was enlisted during the Gulf Wars, I have some understanding of what service members go through.

But, I could not conceive of what it must have been like on the beaches of Normandy. Critics agree that the first fifteen minutes of the movie, Saving Private Ryan, conveys the most realistic re-enactment of the event.  Thus, to properly prepare for the trip and get myself in the right psyche, I watched the movie again.

I felt certain “touring” the beaches at Normandy would not be the same as going to Walt Disneyworld like I had done just two months before.  For one thing, my four year old twins were not able to go on this trip. Also, I would be accompanied by a 90 year old WWII veteran and my film crew to create an episode for Senior Salute, further memorializing the events back then as well as now.

Travel with me and read my next article about my experience from Omaha Beach.

Victoria L. Collier, CELA, Elder Care Attorney, Co-Founder of Lawyers for Wartime Veterans and Lawyers with Purpose, Veteran, author of 47 Secret Veterans Benefits for Seniors and most recent book, Paying for Long Term Care: Financial Help for Wartime Veterans: The VA Aid & Attendance Benefit.  

The Rules of Engagement

At Lawyers with Purpose we feel very passionately about our unrelenting standards around consistently operating by our Rules of Engagement.  On our weekly CCI call this week, we discussed how easily the expectations set within the Rules of Engagement can be pushed aside in the day-to-day of our “busy” world. How we give each other permission to let each other off the hook with no operation by set standard. 

It's those times that we allow The Rules of Engagement to be part of our consistent daily practice that there is very rarely ever a need for sporadic reactive “sit downs” about to what's going on with X (team, projects, cash flow etc.). And in our experience the work that has to go into repairing, redirecting and/or retooling doesn’t have to occur this way. If you make it part of your standards, the consistency in all facets of your business begin to happen.

Your Rules of Engagement should, in essence, say that as a team we agree to operate under the following rules - day in and day out - to allow us to grow and eliminate any unnecessary dividedness.

SAMPLE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

1. To refrain from holding on to “stories and stuff” - always clarify and verify what is being ask of you and always operate with honest while respectful mentality; (A) If you ask me, I will tell you; (B) If I ask you – it’s because I “need” to know to be sure my needs are being met

2. Lead and operate every meeting with:

1. Declaration of the purpose and intended outcome
2. Printed Agenda with the team leader running
3. Next specific actions and deadlinesEvery person is absolutely required to hold each other accountable and be accountable for their our own actions

3. Every person is absolutely required to hold each other accountable and to be accountable for their own actions.

4. EVERYTHING is ALWAYS “on the table” with a “CAN DO” approach

5. We agree to always engage in Healthy Conflict to solve real problems quickly and to put critical topics on the table for discussion.  If there is something that someone is doing and behavior that is a constant roadblock YOU need to conduct a STOP and identify the behavior that is occurring in that moment so we can identify and breakthrough.

6. We agree to refrain from gossip. Do not say something out loud that you would not say if you knew it was to be repeated. If a statement starts with “Don’t tell….” It’s gossip

7. We agree as a team to always be willing to FAIL FORWARD. United we stand, divided we fall.

If you're interested in learning more about how Lawyers With Purpose could support your estate planning / elder law practice, please join us in Chicago June 9th - 11th for our Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA Practice With Purpose Program.  Register today as we are filling fast.  The hotel is almost sold out so grab your seat today!

Molly Hall, Co-Founder, Lawyers With Purpose, LLC, and author of Don't Be a Yes Chick: How to Stop Babysitting Your Boss, Transform Your Job and Work With A Dream Team Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Spirit in the Process

 

 

 

Making Medicaid Qualification Easy - A Quick 10 Minute Demonstration

With the proliferation of those online will factories, some believe traditional estate planning is dead.  But that is not the experience of Lawyers With Purpose members.  With nursing home costs rising more and more out of reach of most people, clients are looking for ways to protect what they have scraped and saved and worked so hard to build. 

And those clients are turning to Lawyers With Purpose attorneys to help them do it.  Lawyers With Purpose can help you quickly get up to speed to effectively and competently work with your clients in the Medicaid area.  We provide our members many tools to help them do that.  One of those tools is the Medicaid Qualification Worksheet.  The Medicaid Qualification Worksheet can help you immediately determine whether or not a client is currently qualified for Medicaid if they go into a nursing home, what you might need to do to help them get qualified if they are not already, and show them that they may not have to wait five years after they do planning with you before they could qualify for the benefit. 

You will never forget the feeling you get as you watch the wave of relief that washes over the face of the first client you are able to tell that to!  Watch this video to see how the worksheet works.

If your interested in learning more about this and other ways Lawyers With Purpose can help enhanse your estate planning practice, join us at our Practice With Purpose Program in June.  If your at all interested click the link and register today!  The hotel is close to selling out and seats are filling quickly!

 

Aaron Miller, Legal/Technical Trainer - Lawyers With Purpose.

We've Updated The Five Key Focusers

Four years ago I had never heard of Lawyers With Purpose and knew nothing about the LWP processes.  Of course I had worked a number of years in the legal field, and had developed systems and processes in each position I had held, but I had never seen anything like the Initial Contact Focuser (ICF).

What a ridiculously simple idea!  How come I never thought of it?

Like so many gemstones in the rough, I didn’t immediately see the depth of its value.  I was fairly easily persuaded that collecting the data and documenting it made sense.    I simply put one on a clipboard behind the phone, and grabbed it when a first-time caller phoned, or someone walked in off the street.  But it wasn’t until I had been collecting that data for several months, and transitioned to an Excel spreadsheet that I started to really “get it.”

Then I got excited.

Just for kicks, I added a few columns into my spreadsheet that are now incorporated into the new Initial Contact Focuser on the LWP website.  By using the sort and filter functions, I was able to see exactly what was causing our phone to ring.  I was able to track the results of our RMS process, as well as each retail advertisement we had paid for.

Thinking about advertising on the scorecards at local golf clubs?  Forget it!  We never got a single referral from the half dozen courses that we advertised at.  And I can tell you that with no hesitation because of the Initial Contact Focuser.

We were able to track ROI on retail marketing down to the cent, and maximize our marketing dollars.

Not only that, but I could immediately access referrals from synergy partners, tell you how many prospects were converted to clients, and give you the total dollar value of that referral relationship, as well as the average value of each referral.

We were able to more effectively measure the results of our involvement in community groups such as the Chamber of Commerce and the results of luncheon speaking engagements for the local Rotary Clubs.

OK, so maybe I’m preaching to the choir here.  You probably have already “seen the light” long ago.  But just in case your firm is not religiously documenting every new prospect on the Initial Contact Focuser, I just have to ask …. WHY NOT?

I hope you’ll check out the brand new Five Key Focusers on the member website.  A great deal of work has gone into improving them … just for you!

Nedra Catale - Coaching, Consulting & Implementation

Making Your Strengths Work For You

You’re probably familiar with the concept of IQ...maybe you’ve even taken a quick IQ test online or in the back of an in-flight magazine.

Many years ago, it was believed that IQ and intelligence were synonymous -- that there is some sort of magic number that everyone has that can be determined by the right test, and that that number is a reflection of how intelligent they are. Even today, if you ask the average person on the street what intelligence is, the term “IQ” is going to come up more often than not.

Fortunately, these days we know better...as far back as 1983, a psychologist at Harvard named Howard Gardner proposed his theory of “multiple intelligences.” The idea behind Gardner’s framework is simple -- namely that intelligence takes many different forms, and that everyone’s “intelligence” is actually a unique combination of their strengths across many different categories. Currently, Gardner has advocated for nine different forms of intelligence:

●      Musical – Rhythmic and Harmonic

●      Visual – Spatial

●      Verbal – Linguistic

●      Logical – Mathematical

●      Bodily – Kinesthetic

●      Interpersonal

●      Intrapersonal

●      Naturalistic

●      Existential

When you look at the list above, it’s not difficult to come up with examples of what Gardner was talking about -- history is full of people who achieved at the highest levels in their field, independent of what they may have scored on a traditional IQ test.

IQ wasn’t related to Beethoven’s successes...it was his musical intelligence. Michael Jordan’s IQ had nothing to do with his ability to drive the lane or hit a jump shot -- but he absolutely is gifted in the realm of bodily-kinesthetic intelligence. Margaret Thatcher would likely have scored well on a traditional IQ test, but you can also make the case that it was her inter- and intra-personal intelligence that helped her ascend to the top of her field.

So by now you might be wondering why I’m talking about intelligence here.  It’s a fair question, and the answer is actually pretty simple…

When you think about the examples I’ve given above, and the others that surely came to your mind as you read through Gardner’s list, what do they have in common? They all benefited from an extraordinary fit between their gifts and the endeavors they chose to pursue.

In my law firm, we’ve taken this philosophy to heart – working in our strengths (ie., whose doing what to reach goal).

So often you’ve heard me discuss the idea of systems, and how having the right system in place makes all the difference in your practice. Well, an important component in that is making sure that the people -- the most important part of any business system -- are a good fit with the responsibilities they have.

Take a minute now and think about your team -- who is particularly gifted verbally? They have a way with words -- are they getting the opportunity to leverage that talent for the benefit of your whole firm? What about your analytical thinkers? Are they getting the opportunity to solve problems and help things run more smoothly on a day-to-day basis?

Next month, LWP is hosting a three day event in Chicago where we’ll be talking systems automation and how you can leverage the right tools, systems, and the natural talents of your staff to exceed your revenue goals! And the beauty is your freed up to focus on the people (i.e. meeting with clients and power partners).

The next Practice with Purpose Program is June 9-11.  There will not be another one until October. Yikes, that’s closer to “year end” than “New Year”.

We’ll provide you with the road map -- we’ll teach you how you can use your natural gifts (and those of your team) to get more done at the office and get more time at home as well!

That doesn’t meant that it’s going to be easy, though...one of the benefits of attending an event like this with some of your most successful and forward-thinking peers from around the country is that we're going to challenge you to break through the roadblocks you’re currently facing...to focus on what's really important in your practice...and to eliminate the distractions that take away from your time and focus.

That's our promise to you...that you'll return home with a clear vision for taking your practice to the next level. Taking the all-important first step is up to you - click here to register now. We fully expect that the program will sell out, and you don't want to be left without a seat!

David J. Zumpano, Esq, CPA, Co-founder Lawyers With Purpose, Founder and Senior Partner of Estate Planning Law Center

Probate Court Remedies For Elder Financial Abuse

The Probate Court (or other state court with jurisdiction over alleged incapacitated adults) generally has the power to order numerous actions and remedies for elder financial abuse, each of which typically has its own procedural and evidentiary requirements.

The appointment of a limited or full conservator for the elder, with court-supervised responsibility for managing the elder’s assets, is typically ordered as a “defensive” protective measure.  During the pendency of a conservatorship proceeding, which can be a time-consuming proposition, consideration should be given to obtaining one or more of the following temporary remedies.

(1)  Temporary restraining order to prevent irreparable harm to the elder and her assets.

(2)  Preliminary injunction to preserve the elder’s assets while the conservatorship action is pending, coupled with court-ordered disbursements for the elder’s benefit during the pendency of the action.

(3)  Recordation of a lis pendens (Latin for “litigation pending”) in the deed records of any county in which the elder owns real property, putting third parties on notice of possible claims against, or title issues with respect to, the elder’s real estate assets.

Practitioners have reported a disturbing recent trend of filing “offensive” or “attack” conservatorship proceedings.  See Vivian L. Thoreen and Dana G. Fitzsimons, Jr., Elder Financial Abuse: Protecting the Aging Client from the Den of Thieves, 46^th Annual Heckerling Institute on Estate Planning, Jan. 2012.  Cited examples include “[a] child, alienated from an elderly affluent parent and likely to be disinherited, seeks control of the parent’s assets to frustrate the parent’s estate plan by draining its assets.  Another example is the child, angry about being excluded from the parent’s lifetime giving, seeking to block generosity to other family members or charities, or to compel “gifts” to himself against the will of the parent.  In even more distasteful circumstances, the child may seek to restrict the parent’s lavish lifestyle or to limit expensive care so as to preserve a future inheritance.”  Id. 

Another disturbing offensive tactic that has emerged in recent years is that of “granny snatching” (i.e. removing an elder from her home state to another jurisdiction for the sole purpose of filing a guardianship or conservatorship proceeding there based on the elder’s physical presence in that jurisdiction).  This tactic has been curtailed in recent years as the vast majority of states have enacted the Uniform Adult Guardianship and Protective Proceedings Jurisdiction Act (“UAGPPJA”) in some form, promulgated in 2007.  

Notably absent from the list of 38 states and the District of Columbia that have enacted, or recently introduced legislation to enact (Massachusetts, Mississippi and New York), the UAGPPJA are several southern states, including Georgia, Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina and Texas.  (The other non-adopters are California, Kansas, Michigan, New Hampshire, and Wisconsin.)

If your at all interested in learing more about Lawyers With Purpose please join us in Chicago in June!  You can contact Molly Hall at 877-299-0326 x 201 or [email protected].  Register today - seats are filling fast!

Kristen M. Lewis, Esq., Member of the Special Needs Alliance and Fellow of the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel.

Congratulations to Michele Ungvarsky, LWP Member Of The Month!

What is the greatest success you've had since joining LWP™?

I have been able to completely revamp my practice from litigation to Estate Planning with the tools, plans, mentoring, and software provided by LWP™. Looking back over the past 14 months, I know I would not be where I am if I had to design a new practice by myself.

What is your favorite LWP™ tool?

This changes periodically and it's hard to pick one "tool." Right now I am loving the Asset Protection Analysis. There is information any type of Kolbe personality can understand and use. I will admit it took me a while before I completely understood it and was not intimidated by it, but it has been a real plus for showing my clients what I can do for them.

How has being part of LWP™ impacted your team and your practice?

The one-on-one mentoring for legal-technical and systems can't be beat. My assistant and I have been challenged continuously to develop and improve our system. Just when we want to sit back and coast, we are prodded into action.

 

Congratulations Michele.  We're honored to have you as a member! 

 

If you are interested in learing more about become a Lawyers With Purpose member, click here at take a look at what we are offering at our Asset Protection, Medicaid & VA Practice With Purpose Program, June 9-11 in Chicago.  Register now!

 

Roslyn Drotar - Coaching, Consulting & Implementation, Lawyers With Purpose

The LWP-CCS Common Trust

We recently had a discussion on the Live ListServ on a newer component of the LWP-CCS, the client centered drafting software created by Lawyers with Purpose.  For clients that may not have a huge amount of assets and would be highly unlikely to ever really worry about the estate tax and they don’t want the added “confusion” of having a lot of language regarding estate tax in their documents, there is now an option to create a “common trust” for married couples. 

A common trust gives asset protection as does the credit shelter / family trust.  The same questions are asked as they are in the credit shelter / family trust option, but it rips out the tax language.  It is assumed that the client does not need and won’t ever have a need for the estate tax provisions. 

The common trust is funded after the death of the first spouse.  If husband and wife have separate trusts, then the common trust is funded by 100% of the deceased spouse’s trust.  But if there is a joint trust, then the trust is funded by 50% of the joint assets in the trust and all of the assets on the deceased spouse’s separate assets. 

How does this look?  Let’s say husband and wife with a $500,000 joint trust.  In our scenario, the husband puts in $300,000, the wife puts in $100,000 and they jointly contributed $100,000.  Assume first that the husband dies first.  The terms of the trust would then put $300,000 of the husband’s assets in the common trust.  Then half of the $100,000 that was jointly contributed would be added, and none of the wife’s contribution would be added to the common trust.  So a total of $350,000 would be put into the common trust. 

Now assume the wife died first.  In that case, the $100,000 that she separately contributed would be added to the common trust.  Also half of the $100,000 that was jointly contributed would go to the common trust.  So if the wife died first, $150,000 total would be contributed to the common trust.

The live listserv is an incredible valuable opportunity to get your burning legal/technical, marketing, and any other practice related questions answered in real time.   Don’t miss out!

David J. Zumpano, Esq, CPA, Co-founder Lawyers With Purpose, Founder and Senior Partner of Estate Planning Law Center